I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize