worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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