He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
