Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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