i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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