when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
