3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
