who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
