You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize