is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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