More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
