meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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