i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
