In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
