So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
