I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
