bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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