im holly from the hills drunk
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
