Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
