you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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