there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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