i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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