it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
