Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
