Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
too bad you live with your parents still
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
