I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
