I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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