I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
