I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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