Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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