U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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