nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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