i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize