So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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