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The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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