Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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