There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
