I wish my penis had an off switch
he puts the penis in happiness.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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