great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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