More tranny stories later!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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