I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
