I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
