Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So vagazzling was a success
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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