Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
