We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize