My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
