She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
