these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ladies don't puke and tell
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
