i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
