lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My pussy is not your playground.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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