She went from zero to smokin in five shots
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
