9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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