i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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