and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
