it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
