my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
