ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
soo... how was my night?
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