Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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